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The Problem with Young People Today Is...

The problem with young people today is that they want immediate gratification.

When I was a young man immediate gratification was something you waited your whole life for. You never expected it, it never came and life was better that way.

But these young people today?

They want immediate gratification right now and all the god damned time. They want to download movies before they’ve made it to the show and hear the latest music before the wax on the record has been pressed. It’s all about getting next year’s model, the phone of tomorrow and the newest, latest shiniest toy today.

They expect their god damned microwaves to make them a three course meal in 30 seconds and then wipe their chins and burp them afterward. Microwaveable bacon, pizza, popcorn and pie. If it can’t be prepared in less time than it takes to snort of tab of marijuana…

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