In the beginning there was nothing. And, for some reason unknown to man, something was created from that nothing; something very special to all of us. We call this place our home. We call this place planet earth. Indeed, we are the third rock from the sun.AAAAAAAimagesCA4JGT3K

And guess what? For better or worse, we got created, too.

Having tried to create something from nothing many times (This Blog, Common Sense, Cash Flow, Dinner) Grumpy has learned that it is a very difficult task. He commends whoever was responsible for this amazing feat.

Bravo! Job well done!

Rapper, Little Wayne, expresses quite a different creation viewpoint when he chants, “I made something out of nothing, thanks for nothing.”

Well, Mr. Wayne, you didn’t make anything as big and stupendous as our planet earth and that it is why you will always remain LITTLE WAYNE, thank YOU very much.

On this place called Earth there developed life forms, whether it was by design from an all-powerful deity, aliens or happenstance, the earth was soon filled with multitudes of diverse biological, chemically driven entities. These entities expressed their free will in a competitive environment as they struggled to survive, while sharing bountiful but limited resources.

This competition, otherwise known as the “Survival of the Fittest Extreme Games”, allowed those that were bigger, stronger, smarter and faster to hold dominion over the planet. The species with the big brains were not always the sharpest pencils in the box but there were far more of these pencils than there were species of the pea brain variety. Life was “rock, paper, scissors” on the grandest of scales; a win-win situation for all the big brained sorts.

AAAANapdynamitePEA BRAINED SPECIES: I thought rock could smash scissors?

BIG BRAINED SPECIES: Not really because my scissors are made from tempered steel and bioengineered with protective coating force-field radiation that repels rock and turns them into dust.

PEA BRAINED SPECIES: Duh, my bad, I didn’t know that! You win.

To be sure, some of our predecessors carried with them the Napoleon Dynamite gene. Evidence of that can be seen everywhere, don’t you think?

Then, about 80 million years ago PRIMATES appeared because bananas were in abundance and then, as time slowly passed 2.5 million years ago the HOMOS appeared. These are our ancestors; better known scientifically as humans, Neanderthals, Homo erectus, and their direct ancestors thereof.

Our ancestors bullied the earth into submission with stick, club and spear. We became the top dogs, the big kahunas; otherwise known as mankind, womankind and/or androgynouskind. The earth evolved into a milieu which we now describe as politically correct and inclusive.

Our ancestors also dutifully went forth and multiplied because contraceptives were a couple of million years from research and development and abstinence was, at that time, found under the heading: THINGS NOT YET CONSIDERED.

The human form as we know it, because that’s the skin we currently walk about in, only appeared about 200 000 years ago, a mere wisp of time considering Earth is already passed its 4.54 billionth birthday. We’ve really been around here a miniscule amount of time, friends.

AAAAhomosapReally, the oldest fossil evidence for anatomically modern humans is about 130,000 years old in Africa, and there is evidence for modern humans in the Near East sometime before 90,000 years ago. Yes, it was in recent history that we became what we are now, HOMO SAPIENS; all jiggy, hip and ready to rock and roll.

Friends we are neither monkeys, Barbie Dolls nor Kens – we are anatomically correct and modern. If you doubt this, hold a picture of Homo erectus in one hand and a Barbie or Ken doll in the other, while you stand naked in front of a mirror.

See the difference?

If you don’t – you might be living in a cave sometime soon.

By the way, HOMO SAPIENS loosely translated means WISE EARTHLY BEING. Unfortunately the behavior of our friends in politics and government more closely resemble Neanderthals, which of course, gives we proud and productive HOMO SAPIENS a bad name.

Consider this:

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books – the Bible and Darwin’s The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books”?

“Well,” said the monkey, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

No matter what you believe, we all are the KEEPER of the keys to the engine that drives this earth, with our hands firmly planted on the controls that keep this old planet trucking and on track. And, that my friend is our biggest problem; because this is serious business. The stress of all of this “free will” makes us constantly ponder, “Why am I here anyway?” or “Why this, or that, or the other thing?”

Dear reader, the Grumpy Guru has attempted to describe the history of the world in just over 500 words, effectively taking us from monkey business to our current state of angst and hypertension.

ZZZZelectroclutterTo sum up, Grumpy concludes that, although in the beginning there was nothing, now and forevermore we are confronted with EVERYTHING; houses, cars, boats, electronics, computers, cell phones satellites, rampant obesity, stress and debt up to our eyeballs.

And, in his view, it is that EVERYTHING that is the biggest problem for all of us. (I’ll tell you more this in the next installment of the Grumpy Guru.)

It’s been a great run for us HOMO SAPIENS because most of these accomplishments (cool stuff) are current, within our own lifespan and constantly growing out of control just as the book FUTURE SHOCK predicted (Author: Alvin Toffler). I read that book as part of my university studies in the early 70”s, over 40 years ago.

Toffler said, “Change is not merely necessary to life – it is life.” Or as Grumpy says, “Change is inevitable, except from vending machines, parking meters and teenage fast food clerks.”

Seriously though, in Grumpy’s life time he has gone from transistor radios, horse drawn milk wagons, ice boxes, black and white TV, finger pressing typewriters and the like to all of this technology, cyberspace meandering and micro-mini-nano electronics. That took barely sixty frigging years and now we have EVERYTHING at our finger tips.

That is one big mother of a change.

More importantly, Toffler provided this very revealing description concerning what our biggest problem might be.

“To survive, to avert what we have termed future shock, the individual must become infinitely more adaptable and capable than ever before. We must search out totally new ways to anchor ourselves, for all the old roots – religion, nation, community, family, or profession – are now shaking under the hurricane impact of the accelerative thrust. It is no longer resources that limit decisions; it is the decision that makes the resources.”

Here! Here!


So, in that sense, and as his first pontification of profound knowledge and guidance, the GRUMPY GURU says make the DECISION to, “Laugh your ass off!” at every opportunity. Don’t take all of this “CREATION/EXISTANCE” stuff too seriously. Isn’t it how you feel INSIDE that really matters, not what’s going on outside and around you or what stuff you can hold or manipulate in your hand?

As the Indian Guru Osha, says, “Laughter is the only quality that distinguishes man from other animals. Only man can see the ridiculous, the absurd. Only he has the capacity and the consciousness to be aware of the cosmic joke that existence is. It is a cosmic joke; it is not a serious affair.”

“Have you ever seen a laughing dog?” (Caine –David Carradine-Kung Fu) ZZZZkungfu

Caine also said, “Life is a corridor and death merely a door”.


The Grumpy Guru’s Bottom-line: You must decide to seek humour and happiness in everything you do. You must dance as if no one is watching. You must decide to be happy. You must take care of the INNER you as you take that long walk down that mysterious corridor!

And, if you ever decide to watch Grumpy dance, he assures you that you will be laughing – laughing your ass off.

So, answering this big question about existence and creation is really quite simple:

Who gives a rat’s behind?

You’re here as a functioning entity, so deal with it! Stop worrying about why? Isn’t it better for you to declare, as Jimmy Buffet sings, “I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead?”

I  hope you see the difference?

Like the poster in Grumpy’s original blog said, “What if the purpose of life is to give life a purpose?” The GRUMPY GURU says, isn’t that purpose to be happy and to “Laugh your ass off!” at every opportunity.

If those aren’t your most important goals, what are they?

And now, prepare yourself for one FINAL DEEP THOUGHT. Move over Descartes because the Grumpy Guru postulates:

“I write therefor I am

“You read therefore you are.”

“We laugh at all of this together!”


For a couple of Monte Python’s takes on the MEANING OF LIFE just click these links and then “laugh your ass off!”

MIDDLE AGE:  http://www.youtu

And, leading into next week’s discussion, try this one. It’s a teaser.



“Inside-Outside and All Around the Block: ARE YOU AN IN-EE OR AN OUTY?”



A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

Metaphysical thinking, you’ve got to love it. If you are a teacher in Ontario you’d be giving that boy a Level 4 for that piece of deep thinking.


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