What do Rob Ford and Grumpy have in Common?
So, it’s an electrical heart malfunction that appears to be causing Grumpy’s irregular heartbeat. And, not unlike your car, it appears as if he is in line for a cardio tune up. Now, of course, the most non-evasive technique for accomplishing this would be the application and ingestion of massive amounts of DRUGS!
This treatment will be simple, easy and effective and also be covered by the Good Wife’s awesome and comprehensive Medical Plan. Dr. Kennedy assures the Grump’s that these NEW AND IMPROVED chemicals are just what he needs and just what the Doctor ordered.
Indeed, Grumpy has been on this kind of a drug regimen for many years in order to control his blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol and the usual stuff old farts accrue as they get older.
Most of the junk he has been taking has been like the “Minor Leagues”, sort of like Single “A” baseball; suitable for Rookies and with minimal side effects. Every day he pops down a variety Tic-Tac-like medications and goes on with normal activity.
Given that he hasn’t croaked and is still alive and kicking assures him that those ten years of being “medicated” have been a damn good thing. After all, the drugs Grumpy takes are all readily available and totally legal.
Nevertheless, Grumpy soon learned that he has now entered the Major Leagues of chemical intervention. He knows this because the costs of his new drugs are astronomical. He is like Alex Rodriguez except that he doesn’t have the New York Yankees paying the bills. He half believes these meds are manufactured in Nicaragua by a company called CONTRA PHARMACEUTICALS. But, even worse than the cost, is the fact that some the side effects from these new concoctions can be life-threatening.
Yes, the drugs that cure you can at the same time kill you.
Let’s look at Apixiban for an example.
The danger inherent in irregular heartbeats is blood clots that lead to strokes. Hence, a blood thinner (anti-coagulant) is usually used to “thin” your blood to a watery consistency. Most people I know take “Rat Poison” otherwise now as cumminin. The problem with this drug is that one must be constantly monitored with blood tests to insure you don’t end up like a drowned rat, otherwise known as – DEAD as a doornail.
Dr. Kennedy first put it this way, “By the way, DO YOU HAVE A DRUG PLAN?”
To which Grumpy proudly replied, “Well, of course, Doctor.”
The Doctor smiled. It was big and it was bright.
This reminded Grumpy of the big smile his Dentist always has because, you see, he also has a Dental Plan.
“Ah, then I’d like to try you on this new improved super-duper one-of-a-kind wonder drug they just came out with,” the Doctor continues. “With this one, NO BLOOD TESTS are needed and it’s so much more effective in preventing clots!”
ALL HAIL APIXIBAN!
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO READ THE REST OF THE STORY.
Grumpy is never Grumpy in these situations, in fact, he is as compliant as any man child who roams the Home Depot without his wife in tow. He’ll buy anything the Doctor offers.
“Sounds good to me,” he replied, hoping that taking another drug on top of the other drugs he takes would be a piece of cake. So he added, “Sign me up, Doc!”
That’s when the Doctor went into his smirky-smirk serious mode and added this big caveat, “But, I have to tell you there could be complications, Mr. Grumpy.”
He went on to tell Grumpy that unlike cumminin APIXIBAN has no antidote. In other words if you have a BIG BLEED the Doctors in Emergency can’t give you anything that will reverse the drug’s effectiveness. You, my friend, will be clotless and a scourge to the hospital cleanup crew.
He put it this way, “Yes, Grumpy, it might be a good idea to stay away from wood chippers, chainsaws, machinery and power tools.”
Fortunately, the Good Wife monitors this situation daily knowing Grumpy’s propensity for pratfalls and misadventure. Grumpy Villa is a NO POWER TOOL ZONE.
But there was more. “Let’s say you get in a bad car accident. That could be a problem for you too!”
Now, Grumpy knows why seniors drive so cautiously and so slowly. They all must be on APIXIBAN.
Dr. Kennedy was saving his home run prognostication for last. He finally said, “Your odds of having a stroke are far higher than getting in a car crash, Mr. Grumpy! So, don’t worry!”
Obviously he didn’t know that the Grumpy’s have put 125 000 k on the Clown Car in less than two years. Grumpy often refers to himself as the family’s TAXI DRIVER. Wouldn’t the odds of car crash increase with the number of kilometers driven?
When Grumpy went to the pharmacy to pick up this new med he received his second shock of the day. The cost of this drug is (120 pills-a one month supply) – open the envelope, please – $299 freaking dollars.
THAT’S $3600 A YEAR, MY FRIENDS!
The cost of the new med he received to control the irregular beats (Another SUPER DUPER NEW FANGLED pill called MULTAQ) is about $150 a month – CA-CHING for CONTRA PHARMACEUTICALS.
Now were up to $5400 a year and that’s a big drug habit by any stretch of the imagination.
God Bless the God Wife’s drug plan that pays out these charges at 100%!
This is definitive proof that Grumpy’s life is not worthless. It also suggests these drugs will either kill him or put him into bankruptcy. Better the former than the latter because he does have Life Insurance.
Which now brings us to this revelation.
You see, Grumpy learned something else during all of this chemical manipulation. Drugs interact and your Doctor might not even realize this if he/she is not proactive and well informed.
Dr. Kennedy, because he’s trying to prevent Grumpy’s demise, said, “Stop that NIASIN now for God’s sake!”
Indeed, Dr. Mercola, (When the Cure is worse than the Disease) says:
“The number of prescriptions taken per capita in the United States has grown exponentially in the past 75 years. In 1929, the average American received less than two prescriptions per year. By 2007, the average annual prescription rate per capita in the United States was:
• 4 prescriptions per child (age 0-18)
• Over 11 prescriptions per adult (age 19-64)
• Nearly 29 prescriptions per senior, aged 65 and over!
Drugs often cause more problems than the disease you’re trying to treat. And the more you attempt to “cure” one problem after another with multiple drugs, the farther down the rabbit hole you’ll go.”
A report in the Annals of Emergency Medicine shows that older people treated in emergency rooms were taking an average of six prescription drugs. About 85 percent were unable to identify correctly the names or dosages of many of their medications.
Researchers in Holland recently reported that 16 percent of hospitalized patients over 65 were there because of drug side effects. Canadian scientists found in one study that 30 percent of hospitalized seniors had potential drug interactions.
You can actually go online to see if any of your drugs interact.
CLICK HERE: http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.php
Now go do it. Do it now because it could save you some grief. It actually might save your life.
In the end, Grumpy is glad that Dr. Thorogood was both thorough and very good. He is also pleased that Dr. Kennedy investigated this heartbeat problem comprehensively and spent the time to explain everything in detail and to answer all of his questions.
When Grumpy told Dr. Kennedy that his mother-in-law (a former nurse) was concerned with the “bleeding out” potential of the APIXIBAN, he said, “Just get her to telephone me at the office. I’ll talk to her and answer all of her questions!”
Accordingly, as long as these Blogs keep appearing regularly you know Grumpy’s MEDS are on track. He hasn’t bitten the dust yet nor has he cut the lawn, whacked the weeds, trimmed the trees or stuck his finger in the garborator. Yes, he has retired the wood chipper and purchased a Moped.
However, I’m sure there will be new additions to his drug regimen down the road; at least as long as he has a DRUG PLAN. Otherwise, the big Pharmaceuticals will have nothing to do but raise the price of VIAGRA!