Why Grandparents are like a Ball of String


Yes, Grumpy has been writing a lot about his adventures surrounding being a grandparent. Look folks, it comes with the territory. You know Grumpy is from the school of “Who has more fun than people!” (His father’s favorite saying) as well as the “Growin’ older but not up” philosophy espoused by Jimmy Buffett.

Being a grandparent is just plain fun. If you are a grandparent or a parent dealing with grandparents then you might just enjoy what follows. However, if you are a humorless old busy body then, “Go take a bun”. (My Grandma Black’s favorite substitute for, “Shut up!”)

To begin with, comedian Sam Levenson once said “The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.” Grumpy agrees with these sentiments. That’s why, Ogden Nash the esteemed poet said, “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.”

Grumpy believes that GRANDCHILDREN are God’s gift to us. They are something to bring us back to feeling young again, even as we age. Heck, you and I know Grandparents around little kids can act like they’ve regressed to back to being four year olds. Grumpy thinks regression is a good thing. He’s all for it.

You see kids just get it and accept this as fact. Take a look at what these kids say.

Now, take a look at this video to see what Ogden Nash means when discipline flies out the window. Grumpy is sure you all have your own tales of reckless abandon to tell about.

And, wouldn’t you want to be around these folks if you were a little kid: This video is from the AARP. Yes, the American Association of Retired People is infested with fun loving grandparents.

Grumpy is a fan of Jeff Foxworthy of “You might be a Redneck” fame. Here’s some hitchhiking Grumpy did along those lines. He created a list for “YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF . . .” one liners he thought might bring about a smile or two.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your grandkids see you as nothing more than a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You are sent to buy diapers at the local Shoppers Drugmart and you ask the clerk where might you find the diaper aisle and she/he asks you, “Adult or children’s?”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

That non-spillable Sippy-cup looks like a pretty good replacement for your scotch glass.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You look at your grandchild and say, “He, little buddy, you and I are exactly alike. We both have no teeth, we’re bald and we wear diapers!”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

The person who wasn’t good enough to marry your child can be the parent of the smartest grandchild in the world.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You catch yourself whistling the title tune from either Caillou or Toopy and Binoo!

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

The fastest thing withdrawn from your wallet is not money or credit cards. Rather, it’s pictures of your grandkids!

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You’ve pulled out the back of a diaper, lowered your nose and sniffed like blood hound.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You reach into your pocket for your car keys and come up with a handful of those Goldfish snacks. And, you eat them.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You tell your grandchild you are on Facebook and they BLOCK you!

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

The consistency of baby food is appeals to you and you find yourself eating as much as the baby.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your grandchild giggles and laughs to hiccup proportions as soon as you ask them, “Pull my finger.”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You considered purchasing one of those safety panic buttons to hang around your neck when you crawl on the floor and wrestle with the rug rats. As in, “Help, I’m crawling and I can’t get up.”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Pushing a stroller is like having the best damn walker money can buy.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You think that potty training insert thingy would be practical and might look good on your commode.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your most common command to your grandchild is, “Now don’t tell, mommy!”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

You smile and chuckle when your grandchild says, “Papa, mommy says I shouldn’t do that!” and quickly the  words related in the item above transform into, “We won’t tell mommy then, will we.”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your teenage grandchild asks, “Hey, Grandpa, can you TWEET on that cellphone of yours?” and you reply, “No, they only thing I know how to do is TOOT!”

“Wanna pull my finger, sonny?”

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your children worry that you aren’t prepared to care for their child’s safety; however, it’s you who ends up in the ER because of your antics! (Refer back to video above)

YOU MIGHT BE A GRANDPARENT IF:

Your most common vocabulary includes, “Do you have to poop?”, “Did you poop?”, “I think he pooped? “Maybe he/she has to poop?”, “I think I smell a poop?”, “Is THAT poop?”, and “Let’s go poop on the potty”, even though you’re the one eating all those prunes and taking downing the Metamucil Shots.

Grumpy feels like the best way to add credence to this list would be to suggest some videos that might have you understand how being a grandparent can be loads of fun. They might even give you a licence to go out there and create more chaos and hilarity. You’ll surely read more about Grumpy’s adventures here.

Enjoy!

GRANDPARENTS ARE FUN

Even our grandkids find us funny. Here are three quick videos Grumpy knows you will enjoy. Take a few minutes to watch them.

GRANDFATHER SEXTING LESSONS FROM HIS GRANDSON:

COMMUNICATING WITH GRANDPARENTS: ROSETTA STONE SPOOF:

WEBCAN FOR SENIORS: PROBABLY YOU’VE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE SKYPING YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS, NO DOUBT

And, finally Grumpy will leave you with this classic from Mr. Cosby.

BILL COSBY’S TAKE ON GRANDPARENTS

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